These last few weeks have filled me with sadness and rage and confusion.

Like most women, I have stories similar to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s, and I have only shared them with a handful of people in my life.

I cannot fathom having to relive these horrific events for hours in front of the nation to a panel of mostly white men, like Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina), who would later minimize my story and tell my assaulter that he is as much of a victim as I am.

It seems like the question is now less about whether Republican senators believe Ford and more about whether it even matters.

The fact that if the FBI investigation were to provide witness testimonies that corroborated Ford’s account, it “might” change the minds of a few senators on the fence is disheartening to me and should be to every American who plans to be alive during this nominee’s lifelong term.

I understand that these votes are mostly political as everyone – Republicans and Democrats alike – wants the power to push their agenda through to the highest court of the land.

Still, in this particular instance, this notion is troubling, and I do not accept it. I refuse to accept that this is where we are as a nation.

Judge Brett Kavanaugh has demonstrated to the American people that he is not fit to serve on the Supreme Court.

He was understandably emotional during his testimony, but that does nothing to excuse the multiple inconsistencies between his descriptions of his character and drinking habits during high school and descriptions provided by his friends and classmates.

He has spat hostile, vague retorts to relevant questions and evaded many others. He has revealed his true colors under pressure.

I am uncomfortable imagining him handling incredibly sensitive and crucial cases that will affect us every day.

This is absolutely a job interview, and Kavanaugh is not entitled to this position. The responsibility falls on him to prove his worthiness to serve the American people.

I am sure there are other people from which to choose a nominee, and I would prefer a man or woman who does not have to list for me their good deeds and accomplishments while sidestepping pertinent questions about their past.

For those leaders who believe that Kavanaugh should still be nominated regardless of the outcome of the investigation – even if he is proven to have committed assault – we must have a discussion about the platforms they claim are based on faith.

Many of the issues they want on the table stem from their own religious beliefs, and they are willing to do whatever it takes to reach that self-set table.

Some have deemed Kavanaugh’s past actions as irrelevant or purely a result of the culture of the ’80s.

Even if Ford is telling the truth, Kavanaugh has changed a lot since then, right? The issues at stake are more important than a smudge on his record, right?

To witness so many self-identified Christians acting and speaking in such an un-Christian manner is especially discouraging.

When you claim that you and your platform are rooted in faith, you cannot disregard an act of sexual violence as too long ago to be significant or write it off as a case of boys being boys.

This nomination cannot be merely the means to justify what you believe is a righteous end.

If Ford cannot count on conservative leaders who claim to have God on their side to assert that her experience matters, what message are we sending to every other survivor in the country?

If Ford’s account is proven by the FBI’s findings to be accurate (you can have whatever opinion you want on this process but please do not take Joe Biden’s quotes out of context yet again) and you can’t tell me for certain that this would change your decision to vote Kavanaugh through to the highest court in the most powerful country in the world, then I must seriously question whether your anti-abortion case is truly pro-women.

I am discouraged by those politically conservative Christians who are able to compartmentalize certain aspects of a sin (in this case, a crime).

It is easy to love your neighbor when your neighbor looks like you and agrees with you.

The true test comes when the waters are muddied and your neighbor has been harmed, but simply by reaching out to you, she has hindered your goals.

If you are able to convince yourself that disregarding her – and thus so many others – and staying on your original path is what Jesus would’ve done, then I implore you to brush up on those red letters.

Despite the hypocrisy and ignorance this situation has elicited, I am also reminded of how fortunate I am to have so many incredibly strong and brave women in my life as well as an amazing dad and two wonderful brothers who truly respect, encourage and believe us.

I am thankful to be surrounded by Christians who lead by example, who champion women and who truly exemplify Christ’s love even during the most difficult of times.

Editor’s note: This article is part of a new series focused on engaging the emerging generations of faith leaders. Learn more about’s “Emerging Voices” and “U:21” series here.

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