Editor’s Note: This is the third of a three-part interview. Part one can be found here and part two can be found here.
It’s the final installment of a three-part interview with Brenda Salter McNeil, who shares with readers the opposition that is sure to follow those who are called to the ministry of reconciliation and how to avoid “faithful exhaustion.” Our time together ends with a word of hope for those who feel compelled to bridge the gap with the assurance that you have been called to this ministry and you are empowered to repair.
Starlette Thomas:
You write in a chapter on external and internal opposition, “When people start making real progress toward repairing broken systems, those in opposition often use intimidation to try and stop the work. How do repairers ensure that the work continues unimpeded when this happens?
Brenda Salter McNeil:
Oh my gosh. Well, part of it is to know that we’re not going to have big crowds who applaud the work. And I think we have to feel called of God to believe that this is what God has called us to do.
This is going to sound a little bit pessimistic but it’s my truth. I think sometimes about the scripture. I’ve been a Christian since I was nineteen years old and I love God. I’m not kidding around. It’s not a show for me. I really do.
I realized though that I used to read scriptures like the way to the kingdom is narrow but the way toward, you know, destruction is wide. People choose—
ST:
Broad!
BSM:
Broad, right. I say that to say I think that the road to reconciliation, few people choose it and I think you have to choose it. Right?
I think that it’s a choice that we say, “Lord God, this might not be the most popular thing. This might not make me rich. This might not, you know what I mean? But I believe this is what your kingdom looks like.” So, I think that there are— it’s not surprising to me that less and less people choose the nonglamourous, the unpopular. People aren’t going to make good friends with (we both start to laugh in agreement and understanding).
But we will, we will, I think find ourselves experiencing transformation, which I believe God promises us. We will be transformed by the renewing of our minds. So, this is not just what we’re doing for other people. If we truly would follow God toward the kingdom of God, it would change our lives. So, I think that— I’m not sure everybody chooses the path that leads towards that because it takes something of us to follow after Jesus. It really truly does.
ST:
Such a good answer. And I want to do a lap (translation: offer a physical demonstration of praise for a shared understanding of this holy but often grievous work) but I have to get to the next question. That was such a very rich and very truthful—because I do the same work. Very honest answer.
You look around and there’s nobody around. But you do the work and it’s… there’s so much transformation for me and it’s part of my spiritual formation so I have to do it and I very much enjoy it.
BSM:
Yes. Likewise.
ST:
Your book includes a chapter titled “Avoid Faithful Exhaustion.” What would you say to those who are faithful to the ministry of reconciliation but exhausted?
BSM:
Mhm huh. Well, let me tell you. It’s in the book so if y’all buy the book, you will hear it. A young lady, I was in a prayer meeting and I’m telling you, I had never put those two words together in my life. I know what it is it to be faithful and I know what it is to be exhausted. I had never put together the concept that one could have faithful exhaustion.
And so that young woman just basically said that that’s what she heard from God for me. And I started to say something and she kind of put her finger up and said, “Faithful exhaustion.” Basically, that’s all God wants you to hear.
And so now I realize that the church, those of us who have been reared in the church, we have, I think, this belief that somehow we’ve got to demonstrate how faithful we are. Right?
I can speak for myself, right? So, there are certain metrics, I think, either spoken or unspoken that suggest that you’re all in. Right? That you are really doing your part. And I want to do my part, right?
So, I think that there is maybe also— personality plays into that. I’m an achiever and I tend to measure my levels of success by my productivity. Right? And I feel good about it because even if I’m tired, I feel like, “Look what I have done! I’ve kept my word, right. You know, I finished the course. I kept the faith, right.”
(We share a laugh and a gesture used to suggest accomplishment.)
So, I think that there is a bit of a works-righteousness that we either consciously or unconsciously have bought into. And I think that we live in a culture—so let’s take it outside of the church—we live in a culture that’s like constantly on. Either our phone is on or you know, there’s this constant bombardment—so I think we have been socialized in a very high energy, get it done kind of cultural context.
And so, and so when we put Jesus on top of it, that’s what faithfulness looks like to us. But it’s also been informed by a culture of works, right? And then when we’re exhausted, we rest just enough to get back in the game. And so Starlette, I think what I would say really if I calmed down enough and I would say, “We are not human doings; we are human beings.”
And I think that we forget, I forget that this really God’s work and God is ultimately the one who will make all things new. And so, I think I’m starting to be both humble enough and realistic enough to say, “I’m not called to do everything. I’m not called to be everywhere.”
And so it requires trusting, just like Jesus did, to come away and be still enough to hear. “What am I called to? Is this something I am doing to please others or to prove that I’m, you now? Or did God say, ‘Hey, that thing right there.’” So I am beginning to believe we’ll be more productive if we’re doing the right thing as opposed to doing all things. And that’s what I was trying to get at with faithful exhaustion.
ST:
It’s on page 90. Turn with me.
BSM:
Thank you. (We’re both giggling at this point.)
ST:
I just want you to know that I read it cover to cover. So, last question: You write, “Longevity is one of the characteristics that distinguishes me as a reconciliation leader.” What keeps calling you to the ministry of reconciliation?
BSM:
Well, what I can tell you for sure is what I said earlier. I’m being transformed as much as anyone that I have the privilege of being able to come alongside and either speak to, write a book to. I’m very, very grateful that this work God has called me to has opened up a world for me that I didn’t even know existed, right.
So, part of the longevity for me is that I literally love what it is I do. I think the other thing is that it gives meaning and purpose. So, getting a check is not enough to keep someone highly motivated to do what it is we’re called to do. It’s this deep sense of I was put on the planet to do this.
So, I really want to say to all of us: Every one of us is born with purpose in our DNA and part of our job is to figure out what that purpose is and then pursuit it. And that pursuit of the purpose of God that is in the very core of who we are, that’s the thing that helps us to ‘run on and see what the ends gonna’ be.’
We become committed to the fact that this is what I’ve been called to do. I will do that thing and I will do that thing until the Lord says, “Okay, you’ve completed your course. Great.” And then you take your little bow and you exit the stage. But you do so knowing that it is well with my soul because we accomplished what we were sent here to do.
Director of The Raceless Gospel Initiative, an associate editor, host of the Good Faith Media podcast, “The Raceless Gospel” and author of Take Me to the Water: The Raceless Gospel as Baptismal Pedagogy for a Desegregated Church.