If I were God, I’d do away with February. We do not need four more weeks of cold, dark weather.
There’s no baseball — except for the scheduled, mid-month start of spring training (and only if wealthy owners and wealthy players can agree on how to split a huge pot of money).
Valentine’s Day could easily move to another time; May or June would work just fine.
Throwing in an additional month of September or October weather would be much better. It’s not too hot and not too cold. The days are long enough to get out and do something among trees with leaves.
So, my first act of the revised creation: no February.
If I were God, I’d have people’s ethnicity change throughout their lives. You know, just mix things up a bit.
This would happen randomly over time — except that it would be triggered immediately by any hateful attitudes toward people of a particular heritage. What you hate, you become.
Then we could do away with the little boxes on forms that ask us to check our race/ethnicity. Or, at least, we’d have to go look in the mirror — or take a DNA test — before knowing which box to check.
If I were God, I’d be exasperated by all the misrepresentations of myself that are out there — and all the ritual attempts to define me, defend me and claim my favor. So, I’d just go to earth and show them who I am and how best to live.
It’s such a simple idea. I’m surprised God has not considered this already.
To leave this revelatory example for future generations, I’d enlist a bunch of people to tag along — in hopes that at least four of them would record some of the stories I told and share about the ways I treated people.
Then, I’d ensure those stories get preserved and translated through the centuries so most everyone eventually has access to this grand divine revelation. I mean, we’re talking about God being in the flesh.
People would then know I’m not some national mascot who plays favorites based on the categories so many like to assign. They could see clearly how I treated those on the margins of society — as well as how I expressed my deep displeasure toward those who are religiously pompous.
In fact, I’d mess with the religious and societal elites a bit more: telling the hotshots that they will come in last and that the so-called losers they despise and abuse will be the winners.
I’d shuffle the name tags at a great, big banquet — just to see the surprise on the faces of those who end up at the servant’s table in the kitchen and those who sit by me.
This may seem silly, perhaps blasphemous to some, but I’d even show up at a wedding reception to improve the quality of the wine — and later turn a Happy Meal into a Ryan’s buffet with leftovers.
I would calm a stormy sea — and then create a storm among the pious and powerful by what I said and did.
To shake things up more, I would cross all kinds of social and religious boundaries — even if it meant the harshest attempts to silence, even eliminate, me.
I would prioritize my expectations of humanity by summarizing all of the divine teachings into just two clearly stated laws that are well identified as being the greatest ones — and that fully encompass all others.
Then I would … uh, wait. This is starting to sound vaguely familiar. I may have read or heard this somewhere.
Has this been done already? Did we miss it?
Or perhaps we just ignored it, or downplayed a lot of it for our own benefit.
Could it be that we have been working up a more comfortable concept of the divine — one of our own making? If so, what is it about the real revelation of God in Jesus that we don’t want revealed?
Of course, we would be in a really, really big ol’ mess if I (or you) were God. We are in much bigger and better hands.
So, rather than seeking to assume God’s role, it is much wiser, and to our great benefit, to seek out and reflect what God has already shown us.
We have been given the example, the instructions and the guiding presence for the living of our days in such a way. All that is missing is our faithfulness.
But February … really?
