An advertisement for a writer's retreat.

I woke up early this morning, as I often do, pondering what might be worthy of a blog, or at least halfway entertaining. I got up and scanned the newspaper for ideas, where I learned not only the real news, but also saw that Chastity Bono is becoming a man, Bill Clinton left his credit card at a Raleigh restaurant, and the “Cloud Appreciation Society” wants to name a type of cloud photographed in 2006 as “altocumulus undulatus asperatus.” It certainly doesn’t look like a bunny.

The first thing that clicked, however, came on the real funny pages, in the “Beetle Bailey” comic strip, which portrays army life in a mythical “Camp Swampy.” In the first panel today’s strip, the general’s secretary, Miss Buxley, is emptying a trash can following a meeting of officers. She says “I hate cleaning up after one of their meetings.”

In the next panel we see the contents spill out — a collection of swirls, stars, exclamation marks and other zingbats typically used to indicate cuss words — visual bleeps, if you will.

Miss Buxley then comments, “It’s really disgusting.”

It’s amazing how many people seem to think cussing is cool — even people who actually know real adjectives and are capable of using them. On this count, I remain as old-fashioned as Beetle Bailey’s jeep. I’m with you, Miss Buxley.

The pointless use vulgar language for offense and effect is really disgusting, and that’s all I @#%! have to say about that.

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