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One resurfacing memory from my teen years was when some friends and I were offered three bucks each to eat. That’s right, being paid to eat — a teenage boy’s dream.

The Krystal Company, the Chattanooga-based producers of square hamburgers with the lovely combination of mustard, pickles and onions, was testing new products. My friends and I were given two large hamburgers (what became the short-lived Krystal King), two pieces of lemon pie and two chocolate shakes.

We were instructed to take a a minimum of two bites from each product and record our opinions. I don’t recall any “products” being left on the table.

Consuming two big burgers, two slices of pie and two shakes pales in comparison, however, to the results out of the Krystal Square Off World Hamburger Eating Championship held along the Ross Landing riverfront in Chattanooga yesterday.

Takeru Kobayashi (of Nathan’s hot dog eating fame) consumed 93 square burgers (not soaked according to new rules) in just eight minutes — defeating reigning Krystal champion Joey Chestnut.

Such news makes me feel like my friends and I were minor leaguers back in the ’70s. But now we are at the age and stage where comparing cholesterol levels is considered a better competition.

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