Why Must Mary Remain a Virgin?

Could it have more to do with controlling women’s bodies than any attempt to fulfill some biblical prophecy of Isaiah? A close look at the seventh chapter of Isaiah reveals the church’s misinterpretation of the text. 

In the fourteenth verse, the prophet Isaiah addresses the king of Judah – Ahaz (reign: 732-716 BCE). Isaiah seeks to persuade Ahaz not to join the rebellion of Ephraim and Aram-Damascus against their Assyrian overlords by stating that Ahaz’s enemies will be vanquished before a child named Immanuel (God is with us), born to an עַלְמָה‎ (‘almāh) is weaned. 

This Hebrew word is usually translated as “young woman of childbearing age.” However, the Septuagint – used by the writers of the Gospel of Matthew and Luke –translated this Hebrew as παρθένος (parthenos) which means “virgin.” Since then, all English translations–except the RSV–have used the word “virgin.”

Mary, as a virgin, is neither supported by scripture nor science. 

Let’s say that she was a virgin when she was impregnated by the female Spirit of God (both in Hebrew and Greek, spirit is feminine). Once Jesus went through the birthing canal, he would have ruptured the hymen, thus ending the scientific definition of virginity. For Mary to remain a perpetual virgin, her hymen would have had to grow back, something which scientifically is impossible.

Besides science, the biblical text bears witness that Mary was not a perpetual virgin. In Matthew 13:55-56, the townsfolk question Jesus’ claims by stating: “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas? Aren’t all his sisters with us?” 

This encounter is also repeated in Mark 6:3. Additionally, John 7:5 recounts a time when Jesus’ mother and brothers came to fetch him, concerned about his teachings. 

First Corinthians 15:7 says that the resurrected Jesus appeared to his brother James. The resurrected Jesus also appeared to all his brothers as recorded in Matthew 28:10 and at Pentecost in Acts 1:14. 

His brother James went on to be the leader of the church (Acts 15:13, Galatians 1:19 and 2:9) and to write an epistle. His brother Judas wrote the Epistle of Jude. 

Some have argued that the word used for brother – ἀδελφοὶ (adelphos)–in the above texts also connotes cousin. However, etymologically, adelphos is derived from “a” (same) and “delphys” (womb). 

Besides, when cousin is used in the New Testament (Colossians 4:10) referring to Barnabas’ cousin Mark, the word employed is ἀνεψιὸς (anepsios – masculine).  

This all makes sense when we look at Matthew 1:25, which states, “[Joseph] did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son,” implying the marriage was indeed consummated. 

All this is to say that Mary was not a perpetual virgin, and there was no prophecy claiming Jesus had to be born of a virgin. Mary engaged in sex!

Mary’s perpetual virginity has more to do with the influence of Stoic philosophy early in the development of Christianity than anything biblical. Stoic thought devalued the flesh, emphasizing inner peace through humans’ ability to control their passions. This led to a negative view of the body, especially sexual desire, which was understood as dirty and evil. 

Sex’s purpose was solely procreation, leading Clement of Alexandria to conclude: “To indulge in intercourse without intending children is to outrage nature.” 

Flesh, according to the Stoics and those they influenced, is inherently evil, alienating the Christian from their body and sexuality. Redemption comes from fleeing the body’s passions and forsaking the pleasures derived from flesh. 

This Stoic philosophy led Paul to exclaim: “The fact is that I know that in me, that which is in my flesh, dwells nothing good, for while the desire to do good is present, in practice I cannot find the good . . . What a wretched man I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? So then I with my mind truly serve God’s law, and with the flesh the law of sin” (Romans 7:18, 24, 26). 

What developed from this Christian body/soul Greek dichotomy (not found in the Hebrew Bible) is a very anti-body perspective, in which the body, in and of itself, is evil. 

For the true believer, no price is too high to ensure salvation. One leading Christian thinker–Origen (184-254 CE)–took Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:12 literally and made himself a eunuch through castration for the kingdom of God.

This anti-body early Christian view not only forced Mary to be a perpetual virgin but justified the control of all women’s bodies. She became the counterpoint of Eve, the eternal temptress who lured men into sin and expulsion from Eden. 

All women are presented as a clear dichotomy: between the mother and the temptress, between the virgin and the whore, and between the pivotal values of the ancient world–honor or shame.  

Honorable women emulated the Virgin Mary by refraining from sexual intercourse if single, maintaining their virginity until the wedding night, and maintaining marital chastity afterward. Their sexuality was controlled and tied to their role in society, specifically motherhood. 

Sexual abstinence was thus considered a sacred virtue. 

Novelist Sandra Cisneros, however, captures the absurdity of this social construct in our modern times: “What a culture of denial. Don’t get pregnant! But no one tells you how not to. [The Virgin] was damn dangerous, an ideal so lofty and unrealistic it was laughable. Did boys have to aspire to be Jesus? I never saw any evidence of it. They were fornicating like rabbits while the Church ignored them and pointed us women toward our destiny-marriage and motherhood. The other alternative was putahood {whoredom}… [The Virgin] was nothing but a goody two shoes meant to doom me to a life of unhappiness. Thanks but no thanks.”

Let’s be honest: sex is great–so why deny it? Maybe it would be healthier for all of us to imagine Mary engaging in a healthy, fulfilling, enjoyable, satisfying, adventurous, toe-curling sexual relationship. 

Wouldn’t that be a better model to emulate?