Mary Heron Dyer
Mary Heron Dyer says that she was “born with a book in one hand and a picket sign in the other.”
During her 80 years of life the causes have changed, but she remains an avid student, with three master’s degrees—English literature, scripture and theology, and counseling. She came out as a lesbian in 1986, but it was only when she became suddenly deaf in 2008 after routine knee replacement that she began to reflect on how these seemingly disparate parts of her life—being a lesbian and becoming deaf—had the same patterns of oppression and exclusion.
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Mary weaves her own stories into the fabric of this book, with the hope that it will open hearts and minds to see how we are all impacted by unnecessary oppression and encourage readers to welcome all as “Holy Others.”
I completed my Certificate of Spirituality and Sexuality at Pacific School of Religion in 2009. My required paper turned out to be 156 pages, rather than the requisite 15 pages. It became the seed of this book.
“Walls or Windows”, shines a light on the othering that occurs when people are different from societal norms. As a gay and late-deafened woman, I offer firsthand accounts of my experiences alternating with histories and milestones in deaf and LGBT exclusion, challenging the status quo, acceptance, and advancements. This book, seen through the lens of both the Deaf and LGBT experiences, urges the reader to see the divine in each person, with their differences enhancing them rather than limiting them. The gifts these individuals contribute to society make the world a more beautiful, compelling place.
As for me, I always tell people I was born with a book in one hand and a picket sign in the other. Needless to say, I was an only child! During my 80-year life, as my causes have changed, I remain an avid student to this day, with three masters’ degrees –English literature, a double major in scripture and theology, and lastly, one in counseling. Then I threw in a horticultural degree from a community college.
In 1986, I discovered through counseling that I was a lesbian, surprising both myself, my ex-husband and our three children. It was only when I became suddenly deaf in 2008 I began to reflect on how these seemingly very disparate parts of my own life –being a lesbian and becoming deaf – had the same underlying patterns of oppression and exclusion. I wove my own stories into the very fabric of the book, with the hope that it will help others to continue to open our minds and see how all of us are impacted by unnecessary oppression, and for us to welcome everyone as “Holy Others” and welcome their unique gifts.
Other books I have authored are:
“The Pastoral Associate and Lay Pastor” (1986)
“A Ship in the Harbor” [1993)
“Year of Jubilee: A Guidebook for Women Reinventing Their Lives” (1999)
“Between the Deaf and Hearing Worlds: Blazing My Own Trail” (2023
“Navigating the Rippling Land of Grief: Reflections on the Journey” (2025).
This book may be ordered through Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and Good Faith Media
