Editor’s Note: The following is an excerpt from Outta Nowhere: A Journey through Medical Crisis and Grief during a Pandemic, by Sonya Claire Milam. Outta Nowhere is available today. You can purchase it at the Nurturing Faith Bookstore.
Sometimes our joyful chaos was met with the chaos of hardship. A few weeks prior to our wedding, we survived a blizzard; there was an unprecedented flood during our first pregnancy; we experienced a life-threatening first delivery; a birth defect threatened the second pregnancy; I had a high risk third pregnancy at age thirty-nine.
In addition, we underwent a job furlough, a bank fraud incident, two cancer scares for me, the near drowning of our eldest son, having to use the Heimlich maneuver on our first toddler, the deaths of our grandmothers and two of our dogs, the long illnesses and deaths of his father and my stepfather, and the deaths of many of Bob’s aunts and uncles and a few of mine. Of course, with three boys, we endured our fair share of outta nowhere yet ordinary urgent care and orthopedic visits, broken bones, concussions, and stitches.
Our lucky number nine began to shift in later years, and I see now how these hardships prepared us for the “for worse” events in our marriage. The ninth month of 2017, Bob and Matthew experienced a freak accident in our driveway, resulting in orthopedic surgery for Bob’s shattered tibia. He and Matthew both sustained broken ribs, head contusions, and head-to-toe deep skin abrasions. This was the beginning of Matthew’s sixth grade year, which continued with disappointments, heartache, trauma, loss, and pain.
A short year later, midway through the ninth month (on my birthday), we watched our dear friend Marie as she so bravely and gracefully undertook a breast cancer journey. The day of her diagnosis (with her secret safe with me and a couple others), she sang so beautifully and professionally in a faculty recital. Her courage then and throughout her journey were often reflected in mine and Bob’s conversations throughout his journey and remains with me to this day.
Outcomes in both these ninth month outta nowhere situations were and continue to be good! Thanks be to God! Through both those hard, dark, and trying times, I experienced and witnessed much love, generosity, and grace from family and friends. I witnessed these loved ones accomplish and celebrate big and small goals. I watched them display the grace to let others serve them. I saw their grit and tenacity. I was able to summon a level of physical and emotional strength I didn’t know I had during those seasons! To God be the glory.
Little did we know how these “for worse” events in our marriage prepared us for the global pandemic that came to the whole world outta nowhere in March 2020. Looking back, I can see how this pandemic prepared us for our healthcare crisis and journey that began during a strikingly beautiful, peaceful, and hopeful December lunch hour.
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Author of Outta Nowhere: A Journey of Medical Crisis and Grief during a Pandemic.