It’s been fun watching President Trump’s allies find ways to distance themselves from him as things have become less than favorable for his ratings. It reminds me of how teenage girls used to break up with guys so they wouldn’t hurt their feelings.
I swear, it was like watching them saw off a tree limb with a butter knife rather than a saw. Yet, for the most part, it worked.
They would even gladly take the blame rather than see the hurt in the guy’s eyes. I guess there is kindness in that approach.
Some of their classic lines were things like:
“It’s not you; it’s me.”
“Here, let me introduce you to a friend of mine. I think you will really like each other.”
“I’m not mad at you. Of course not. I have just been really busy doing things you said you wanted me to do.”
“I’m sorry I missed your call; I haven’t been feeling well lately.”
“My family has been upset about how little time I have spent with them recently. I know family is important to you, so I knew you would understand.”
The girl would then sit back, thinking they had taken care of the issue without actually addressing it. The thing about this approach is that it flies in the face of what I thought I had observed: that men could speak the truth to each other without the dance. I admired that.
With Trump, it feels like we are stuck in a similar world of angst and adolescence. We languish in a family system where we vie for the acceptance of an immature, self-absorbed father and an absent mother. All the energy is spent placating a person whose job is to lead but chooses to simply need.
I used to tell my adolescent daughter, when she was caught up in this cycle, that if I had a cure for low self-esteem, all of this could be fixed in a minute. But no one seems to have that remedy, so we stumble on.
At that point, I was wiping away tears from a thirteen-year-old who had been targeted so the flamethrower could make them feel better about themselves. Today, the flamethrower’s weapon has a far more devastating impact on a world in chaos than a young girl’s words in a teenage conflict.
We need more truth speakers. Guardrails have not prevented self-serving leaders from crashing into oncoming traffic. Euphemisms and strong suggestions are no longer sufficient.
We are not just breaking up; we are breaking down. And without real consequences, there will be no change.
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Retired campus minister, campus ministry coordinator for the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of North Carolina, and Collegiate Specialist for the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship.