I was barely two when my parents and I immigrated to the United States from India. Immediately after we arrived in New York City, I embarked on one of the most significant identity struggles of my life. I spent my childhood unpacking two very different realities—the culture, food, language, and customs of my home and the culture, food, language, and customs of what seemed to me to be a typical American family.
Grappling with these two realities led to a long journey of discovery that has shaped my personal, spiritual and professional identities. What I have concluded is simple – to love my neighbor well, I must honor their roots and “bracket” any of my biases.
Ultimately, I learned to do this to myself – to honor where I came from and accept without judgment the unique lens through which God allows me to see the world. Once I had done this, my eyes were opened to how God wanted to use those roots in the Kingdom mission assigned to me.
Honoring is more than just acknowledging. It includes respect for the significance of a person’s heritage and celebration of their contribution to the world. It stems from a foundational understanding of God’s sovereignty, acknowledging God’s fingerprint on each fiber of our being.
If we approach people with a desire to honor their roots, what might change about our engagement with them? Might we maintain a curious rather than critical approach? Might we remain open to listening well rather than asserting judgment?
Imagine the impact of a generation of individuals who feel authentically seen and heard, which are core human needs and the birthplace of restoration and healing.
Another part of loving our neighbor well is bracketing, the process of setting aside the things that might cloud our judgment of a person. Biases are nondiscriminatory in that we all have them; not one of us is exempt. Honoring roots is a start, but sometimes, the values we bring to the table might starkly contrast with those sitting beside and across from us.
So, what then? God doesn’t charge us to love only those who look, think and talk like us. While on earth, Jesus shocked the masses in the way that he sat with those considered the “least of all” in society. He defied the norm and turned some heads, but the impact of that kind of love will flow to generations to come.
I had to learn how to bracket my biases so my eyes could be opened to how God sees people.
My American identity had some value judgments against my Indian identity, fed by my many experiences. It is not uncommon for pieces of ourselves to be at war with one another, but the sooner we allow ourselves to sit with the dissonance, the sooner Jesus can do restorative work in us to heal those parts and make us whole.
The result is a testimony that can impact many lives during our temporary existence on Earth. The result is the love of Jesus emanating from us to bring healing and breathe life into otherwise dead circumstances.
God is continuously teaching me how to honor the various facets of an individual’s identity and set aside any biases I have so the love of Jesus can radiate in all the work I do. He can do the same for you.
I am often reminded of the story of the Samaritan woman and the cultural barriers Jesus crossed to encounter her. It was out of His way, an odd time of day, a woman rather than a man, and a Samaritan at that. But despite all this, Jesus spoke without judgment and shared with her the truth of the source of salvation. Her testimony, in turn, saved many.
Let us open our eyes to see the beauty of God’s fingerprint on anyone we encounter. Let us seek to understand an individual in their entirety rather than leaning on our limited perceptions. Let us maximize our potential impact on a whole generation by loving the way Jesus loves.
Program Director for Colorado Christian University’s M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and an Assistant Professor. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and EMDR-trained clinician in Dallas, Texas.
