The recent news of Dolores Huerta sharing about the sexual abuse she endured from Cesar Chavez stunned me. Not because of what she endured, but rather how she articulated why she kept quiet for so long. Ms. Huerta said she kept the secret because, “I believed that exposing the truth would hurt the farmworker movement I have spent my entire life fighting for.”
She stayed quiet because she didn’t want to jeopardize the mission of the movement she helped lead. The language Ms. Huerta used mirrors the language many women who have been harmed in the church use as well. I know, not only because I’m one of them, but because I’ve had countless conversations with these same women.
To be clear, I place no blame on women who feel they must stay quiet. Shame silenced me for years.
Still, I see the Holy Spirit moving in courageous women coming forward to reveal their stories of abuse in the Epstein files. I see the Spirit move through Dolores Huerta. And I believe She will continue to move through those of us who have a story to share. Because when we tell our stories, we give others the strength to tell theirs.
Her Story is Our Story
A few years ago, I was invited to speak at a conference for Episcopal Women Clergy as an example of one who had a successful ministry outside of parish ministry. I was invited to share my journey of “how I got there,” which inevitably included my story of harm and the painful way my church rejected me once I came forward. My knees shook behind the podium as I acknowledged that I was a victim of sexual harassment and was further traumatized by the canonical process of reporting it in the Episcopal Church, where I was an ordained priest.
I wanted the women present to see how that was not the end to me. I wanted to show how Christ’s healing power strengthened me. I also wanted to show the women Bishops present that we who come forward are not a threat to the institution.
I did not expect what has happened since that conference. Women have quietly reached out to me to share their story of harm. Colleagues I didn’t know, and friends I do know, have reached out to share stories of harm, abuse, retaliation, discrimination, trauma and pain. I have heard countless stories with care and discretion.
And though my heart breaks knowing other women experience what I experienced too, the shame lessens each time we know we aren’t alone.
Several months ago, I began facilitating an online cohort of women harmed in the church. We gather about once a month to listen to one another’s stories, to pray with one another, and to reflect on the resilience and gifts of each woman. Our time is sacred, powerful and vulnerable. In sharing our stories, we refuse isolation and shame.
Over ten years have passed since I experienced church trauma. That painful life experience allowed me to plant a church for those who had known hardship, as I had. Although I am now a coach and consultant for church planters and mission redevelopers, I keep one foot in the church and one with the many people who have been wounded by the church and are in exile. My heart is with them because I understand them.
Healing is Possible
Like Ms. Huerta, many of us harmed in the church are part of a culture that blames us for making the church look bad when we come forward to report harm. But the church isn’t the institution; the church is the people. We are the church. And we are worthy of dignity, justice and safety.
Speaking up and reporting harm doesn’t make us a liability issue. We are worthy of the same compassion and care that Jesus provided to the many who came to him in need of healing.
To that end, a small team of gifted church leaders has been working with me to form Water + Light, a new organization with the goal of shining Christ’s light on this aspect of our church. And over seventeen women who have been harmed have shared their input in a letter of support I wrote, which includes several comments from people acknowledging they, too, have been harmed.
Though many of us are Episcopal, we seek to spark a movement that goes far beyond our denomination, because we know this culture of harming women and others is prevalent throughout patriarchal expressions of Christianity. I invite you to read and join others in solidarity with this wrap-around movement.
Jesus said, “Your faith has healed you. Your faith has made you whole.” I have profound faith that reform is possible.
When we tell our stories, we are not hurting the mission. We are the mission.
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Chantal McKinney, a mystic Christian and visionary, is the author of Following Jesus Beyond Church Walls: A Catalyst for Your Spiritual Growth. She is the founder of Root Thrive Soar, a parachurch organization that trains, equips, and empowers churches, faith communities, and circles around the country. Its work centers on engaging compassionate action within local communities in the spirit of Christ’s love. Learn more at chantalmckinney.com and rootthrivesoar.com.