As a teenage girl, I learned to walk through this world with a healthy sense of awareness of my surroundings: Don’t walk into a dark parking lot by yourself. Call Dad if you have car trouble at night—don’t attempt to change a flat on your own after dark. Don’t wear a two-piece swimsuit to church camp. Don’t wear anything too short, low-cut, or “slutty” that might tempt the boys. Never leave a drink unattended at a party. Make sure you always have at least two of your sorority sisters with you when you go to a frat party. And on, and on, and on.
Never mind that each of these tactics puts the onus on women and girls to make sure we “behave properly” and move through this world with a general sense of fear of our male counterparts, rather than seeking true solutions to the singular problem underlying each of these directives: toxic masculinity.
Now, as the mother of a young daughter, I (along with my spouse) am teaching her the proper terminology for body parts, why her “private parts” are private, and that she is “the boss of her own body.” But still, I live with the constant, nagging fear that no parent is equipped to fully convey what “knowing your surroundings” means for girls today.
The Island
Why? Because their “surroundings” include an entire class of elite politicians, businessmen, celebrities, and even academics named in the Epstein files and reported to have spent time on Jeffrey Epstein’s island. There, the convicted sex offender conducted trafficking and abuse of underage girls. And as the world is now aware, no one is named more frequently in those files than the sitting president.
As we await the release of all the files, what should we be teaching our daughters about knowing they are surrounded by incomprehensibly wealthy and powerful men who view them as nothing more than objects for their pedophilic fantasies?
Occupied Territories Under Attack
What should we be teaching our daughters about their global “surroundings,” where the UN estimates that more than 38,000 women and girls were killed in Israel’s genocide in Gaza between October 2023 and December 2025? The same UN report states that more than 11,000 women and girls in that same period sustained injuries resulting in lifelong disabilities—all funded with our tax dollars.
The School
And then there are the children and teachers from the Shajareh Tayyebeh primary school in Minab, Iran. The final death toll stands at 73 boys, 47 girls between the ages of 7 and 12, and 26 teachers—all women, one of them six months pregnant. There is evidence that the strike was likely deliberate. And while this has yet to be proven, even if the strike was a “mistake,” as U.S. officials claim, our nation has still failed to take responsibility for this horrific “mistake” that cost these children and teachers their lives.
What should we teach our daughters—who go to school to learn, who dream of one day becoming teachers or mothers—about women and children being used, at worst as targets, and at best as “collateral damage,” for wealthy, powerful men to play war games?
The Men
In this maddening world, perhaps we can look around our “surroundings” to our male heroes as exemplars for our sons to emulate. Perhaps our girls can know there are men out there who can teach them that power is not grounded in wealth, war or control over women’s lives and bodies, but rather in the voices and work of the people.
But then the news of César Chávez broke, followed by the gut-wrenching testimony of Dolores Huerta. Once again, we were reminded that we cannot trust our boys to always have dependable role models or that our girls are safe, even with our most revered leaders.
Perhaps we can teach our daughters that their safety and dignity are not bound up in politicians, celebrities, or even impactful leaders. Perhaps it is more important for them to feel safe and valued around the “surrounding” men in their everyday lives—teachers, coaches, pastors, doctors, friends, and family members.
But then, what will we teach them about being aware of their surroundings in a world where online “rape academies” exist and record more than 62 million visits in just one month?
The Real World
Sometimes I wish I could take my daughter and raise her on the fictional island of Themyscira—the hidden paradise home of Wonder Woman and the Amazon warriors. I wish there were a place where she could be taught to fight the injustices of this world solely by strong women who had only her, and the world’s, best interests at heart.
But I must raise her here on Earth, where no place feels fully safe for her or for any girl. And so I will not prioritize safety. I will prioritize being brave. I will surround her with the multitude of brave women I know in this life, and with the wisdom of the ancestors who continually fight—and teach emerging generations to fight—to birth a braver and, dare I say, safer world into existence.
May it be so.
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Dr. Rebecca M. David Hensley holds a PhD in religious studies, with an emphasis in theological and social ethics. She is a member of the adjunct faculty for Iliff School of Theology and an ordained Deacon in the United Methodist Church.