Very loud people have declared that a person who is transgender is so fundamentally different and “delusional” that it is impossible for “normal people” to understand.
I don’t believe that is true.
I bet we’ve all had moments when we felt the people around us weren’t seeing us for who we truly are. Imagine if that were every moment of every day of your entire life. Imagine the toll that would take. Imagine the heartache.
Some believe transgender people are mentally ill. Even if that were true, we already have an effective treatment: acceptance. Feeling accepted and supported dramatically reduces rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide.
If calling someone Katie instead of James could save their life, wouldn’t you do that?
If you know continuing to call someone James despite their repeated requests to be called Katie is a direct assault on their well-being and a potential threat to their very life, wouldn’t you stop?
Too often, any person society deems “atypical” faces bullying and discrimination. What if, when we meet someone we don’t immediately understand, instead of shouting “Different!” “Strange!” “Wrong!”, we made the effort to open our hearts to their humanity?
You don’t have to understand to be kind. But if you allow yourself to be kind, you just might begin to understand.
I’ve never thought of myself as anything other than male, so in that sense, I will never truly know what it is like to be transgender. But I do know what it is like to be misread. I know what it is like to be judged at a glance. Most of us do.
We live in a time when empathy and compassion are treated as signs of weakness. Working to understand another person, to appreciate their pain, to set yourself aside as you fight to lessen their struggle—that’s not something a weak person does. A weak person turns their neighbors into “others.”
Othering is easy. Othering is safe.
I’ve been fortunate to know several people through their physical transitions. I’ve listened to their heartaches (family rejection, harassment at work, disgusted looks) and their joys (the unexpected ally, finally feeling comfortable with their own body, being addressed as “ma’am” or “sir” by a stranger for the first time).
People who are transgender want to shop without being stared at, eat at a restaurant without hearing whispers, and, yes, use the restroom without being harassed. But the most powerful people in the country paint them as enemies and push legislation to make their lives even more difficult.
And they keep getting up. Their bravery puts mine to shame.
If there is a person in your life who is transgender, listen to them. Really listen. Allow yourself to identify with them.
Then support them, advocate for them, and defend them against those working so hard to marginalize them. They deserve a better, more compassionate world, and we can make one if we are only willing to try.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Brad Jeffcoat, a father of two and lifelong resident of Alabama, is an active member of Crosscreek Baptist church.