At a March for Life in late January, Vice President J.D. Vance said, “…it is the task of our government to make it easier for young moms and dads to afford to have kids, to bring them into the world and to welcome them as the blessings that we know they are.”
As one of those moms, I can assure Vance that the current situation in our country does not make it easier to welcome a baby into a family.
One “solution” the current administration has unofficially proposed is to give people $5,000 as an incentive to have a baby, along with a medal for those with six or more children and classes to educate women on menstruation and ovulation.
For decades, society has created a racist narrative around people of color who have six or more children. The truth is, the administration isn’t interested in giving a medal to just anyone who has more than six children. They want to give white people a medal.
Furthermore, I don’t need the government telling me how my body works. If they really cared about that, they would be advocating for better sex education in school rather than the abstinence-only curriculum that has been failing for decades.
As someone who desperately wants a second child but can’t afford one due to the cost of childcare, this “solution” is insulting.
For economic reasons, the administration has lamented the lowering birthrate. Yet they turn their backs on families who suffer from the current childcare crisis.
Families depend on childcare in order to earn an income, but it is currently scarce and unaffordable. When this was mentioned in an interview, Vance said that if grandparents were more involved, everything would be solved.
The push for women to have more babies comes with no plan for prenatal support, and coincides with the administration attempting to limit access to healthcare and nutrition services. Also, they want more children to be born into a world where they are undermining public health by questioning vaccines and re-stigmatizing children with neurodivergence.
If this weren’t real life, it would be comical.
My husband and I have three master’s degrees between us. We both work in higher education and have wonderful careers. Yet we cannot afford childcare for a second child.
Despite being on numerous waiting lists by the time I was a few weeks pregnant, we couldn’t find full-time childcare for him by the time I went back to work. We both worked full-time while only having part-time care until our son was almost 8 months old. It was one of the most challenging times in my life.
At that time, we could afford enrollment but couldn’t find a spot for him anywhere in town. Now, we couldn’t even afford a place for a second child.
For a while, I carried a lot of shame around this. I saw it as a personal failure that we didn’t do things the “right” way or that we “should’ve” done things differently.
But now I know we did everything we were supposed to do. It was the systems that failed us.
The infrastructure was not set up in favor of middle and low income families who depend on childcare to survive. The problem is only getting worse, and as stated by Vice President Vance, it is the task of the government to find a solution. Childcare isn’t solely a social issue, it is an infrastructure issue.
Would I take the $5,000? Of course I would. However, that wouldn’t pay for the delivery of a child and the hospital stay associated with it, even with good insurance.
Nothing about the system makes it possible to have a baby unless you are financially privileged. They should look no further than that reality to answer their questions about why the birthrate is so low.
I am furious, because it feels like the federal government affects when I’m able to have a baby, rather than it being a personal decision. I grieve the life I envisioned for my family with a smaller age gap between our son and a sibling to play with.
He is deeply loved by so many people in our family and community. I grieve that we can’t bring another baby into that love at this time.
I grieve that we could have had an administration that, at the very least, was acknowledging this crisis and had a plan to assist with childcare while boosting the economy.
We want this so badly, yet are often met with platitudes of “It’ll be fine! The Lord will provide,” or, “Can’t you just stay at home?” The privilege and lack of awareness in those statements just make me angrier.
I am reminded of what many marginalized folks learned a long time ago and are reminded of daily: the systems are against us. If we want change, we have to make it ourselves.
This week, I attended a meeting for MotherForward, a grassroots organization that focuses on paid parental leave and the childcare crisis. It consists of moms from across the country who are advocating for change and making a difference.
Before this meeting, I felt hopeless, like nothing would ever change. But I learned it is changing in certain states. And while it’s not yet my state that’s changing, it reminds me that the power is in the people.
So for now, I’m channeling my anger and grief into advocacy, education, and organizing. Right now, it feels like my only hope for change.
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A licensed social worker in Texas, she currently works at The Center for Church and Community Impact at the Garland School of Social Work at Baylor University.
